It’s neat reading about history. You’ll see that people in the past struggle with a lot of same thing nowadays, too. Sometimes even highly-specific ones: imposter syndrome, pursuing deadline, pulling an all-nighter, and of course, procrastination.
Tomorrow is a Dungeon and Dragon session, and I confess, I’ve lost touch for some time. I just can’t connect with my character. And not because I grew disenchanted with the character, no.
I think it’s because I grew disenchanted with me. That’s one of reason why I try to get back to writing: my creativity suffers, and not being able to write creatively might not be so bad; but it also affect work and personal connection, too. It’s maddening, being conservatively protective.
Maybe what I’ll need is finally moving out. I live with my parents, which is pretty alright; they don’t consider me as adult, not really, though, which in abstract is fine. I have my salary, I have my time. Still, it does occupy some psychic part in my brain that I’d rather use elsewhere.
I could technically moved out now, but it’ll kick me from ‘reasonably secure’ to ‘precariously secure’, which, uh, not very good position to be in. Not good at all. I’d rather not be in that position. I just need another IDR 1M a month, or around USD 60 before I’m willing to take the plunge.
Oh, and another six months so I can get enough money to pay for deposit. In retrospect, that should be my priority, isn’t it? So when I do get salary raise, or I’m forced to move away earlier, I can do that.
Yeah, that’s actually not a bad idea at all. And yeah, it’ll take around six months. With luck, maybe even by March. Who knows, right?
Anyway, I only play little of Duet Night Abyss this past days. Not because it’s bad, but because I kinda want to do something else, you know? I stop playing gacha because I want more time to do something else, and I’m not gonna let that happened to me again. Some of my favorite authors have updated their fanfics too, so I’m reading those instead. Also reading some book about writing damn good thriller - hopefully this means I’ll finally write a nice thriller.